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Lead Stories: March 13, 2001.
As the Deliverance soundtrack played dueling banjos on the
stereo, a duel of a different kind was being played out at the poker game last
evening. With Edict and Hank on opposite
sides of the table, a form of gas warfare, not seen since Verdun, 1916, was
being waged at the expense of the other innocent players and perhaps Feltman's
upholstery. Unable to conceal their guilty grins, the two one-upped each other
to a mighty noxious crescendo late in the evening.
Perhaps this is to be expected when you serve raw
oysters and Katz's pastrami on the
same night. Perhaps not. Either way, if this disgraceful trend continues, we
will have to look to play more outdoors or stay away from possible ignition
sources like open flames, spark plugs, or Hank's temper.
Koneo is a pig. In a display of sheer gluttony so intense even
Chowhound
was impressed, Koneo ingested a massive quantity and variety of
edibles and not-so-edibles. "I don't know what his problem was...I just
tried to keep my hands and chips away from his mouth," said one
player. Koneo Kenny's performance was further complicated by his
rollercoaster play that evening. (Rollercoaster+Overeating=Trouble)
Beginning the night with a full bag of sesame sticks, Koneo
began banging the table and demanding that his three dozen oysters
and clams be shucked on the double. After that Koneo rolled himself into the
kitchen where he prepped his first Katz's
sandwich, a pastrami. Moments later and feeling "in the zone,"
Koneo went for the turkey and refilled his plate with extra helpings of salad an
full-sour pickles. After washing it all down with about 4 tall boys of budweiser,
Kenny went for the desert: Chocolate, Jellybeans, some kind of minty thing that
may have been soap, and pretzels. He also enjoyed a nice cup of tea before
heading straight for the Maalox.
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