This is the official site of the Tuesday Night Poker club of NYC.  Here we will store news, commentary, photos, and the general history of our madcap escapades each and every Tuesday night. This site will be a virtual scrapbook and permanent online documentary of our adventures in gambling arguing and drunkeness.

Lead Stories.  June 19, 2001

Balls and Jesus

With the ace-three down, I’m playing the pyramid game with a lot of confidence.  We haven’t flipped the last card yet and Lymie’s brow begins to glisten. “Bucka-back-two-bucks.”  I’m sure Lymie has stretch marks on his scrotum.  And you’ve got to love him for that.  No one in our game puts his balls on the table as much or as far as Lymo. 

Only four cards to a good hand and one left to flip and Lymie is raising the maximum.  It’s a $6 bet to me but I take my chances because I know he’s playing for that last card.  He’s a religious man: a man of faith.  With nuts the size of cantaloupes and Jesus on his side, how could he lose?  Well, he usually does.  But when he wins he wins big.

There’s nearly $40 in the pot and I flip the final card.  It’s a three and I’m paired up--my low hand is shot.  Lymie smiles and wipes up the chips after attending to his drenched forehead.  He got away with one. 

Sure, he’ll lose two or three more like that before the night is over, including one to me that more than makes up for my loss.  But it’s this haul that he’ll remember.  And if, as the saying goes "luck is the residue of design," perhaps Lymie should go back to the drawing board. 

Bilious Emission

Perhaps the sauce is getting to Redcard.  (If you’re wondering if I’m referring to booze or Tabasco: it’s both.)  ‘The Man from Vandalia’ provided one of the most disgusting moments in the history of our game last night as his attempt at a massive burp went horribly, horribly wrong.  Forever to be known as ‘The Puke,’ Redcard’s shameful soiling of himself will be fodder for stories and legends for generations to come.  No, he’ll never wear that shirt again and he’ll probably rethink his diet too.

(photos and retouching courtesy of Koneo)